Ten Ways The City's Politicians Can Best Manage Our Money

1) Hire consultants to steal employee ideas and sell them back to the city.
2) Buy $75 ashtrays to promote worker health.
3) Give the successful businesses $100,000 loan rebates and a lower tax rate.
4) Give facade grants to businesses that make their building an eyesore.
5) Hire back employees that were fired or sued. Just to show there's no hard feelings.
6) Save money by NOT fighting in court, or forward lawsuits to Easton, MD.
7) Pay the mayor's girlfriend to paint a mural on your business.
8) Save money by filling "the sinkhole" 3/4 of the way, & move the "Dip" sign in front of city hall.
9) Make room in the overcrowded police station by firing the police chief.
10) Hire the mayor's painters to stucco your house with mud.